I dunno about the flow being bad in that paragraph with Philip and James though. Its not jarring to me at all. But if you're unsatisfied with that, then I guess I understand.
Have you tried reading up on Murakami btw? He's made some interesting observations about how he likened his writing to playing jazz (he used to run a jazz café before getting into writing). He talked a bit about how writing felt a lot like "trying to sustain the rhythm, finding the coolest chords and trusting in improvisation" or something to that effect.
Maybe you can try something like that. You already have an idea about how music works.
"But it was Sunday, so Bendigo Bank was closed. I returned the rented horse (actually an asthmatic donkey) and shaved my head to look like Jason Statham."
Well, I think you handled the situation very well... 👍😅 Onward!!
Interesting retrospective here.
I dunno about the flow being bad in that paragraph with Philip and James though. Its not jarring to me at all. But if you're unsatisfied with that, then I guess I understand.
Have you tried reading up on Murakami btw? He's made some interesting observations about how he likened his writing to playing jazz (he used to run a jazz café before getting into writing). He talked a bit about how writing felt a lot like "trying to sustain the rhythm, finding the coolest chords and trusting in improvisation" or something to that effect.
Maybe you can try something like that. You already have an idea about how music works.
"But it was Sunday, so Bendigo Bank was closed. I returned the rented horse (actually an asthmatic donkey) and shaved my head to look like Jason Statham."
Well, I think you handled the situation very well... 👍😅 Onward!!