Would love to comment something worthwhile but the words "Do something!" still ring in my ears, drowning out any insightful thought I might've once had.
Another great read. I loved that, almost surprisingly, people did still engage with him - although they clearly didn't understand any of the motives behind his actions. To serve him his ban mi, a simple transaction made terrifying, the woman still went through the motions of her job. The crowd, who tried to stop him from harvesting the organs. And the mother, who still tried to reason with him, despite his scary appearance! Some interesting interactions for someone self professing to be lonely, I liked it a lot! I suppose interaction is written into human nature, we're meant to engage in all different ways...!
I really enjoyed this one. The 'work' reference didn't jump out at me, and my cyncism inferred that the darkest, crueler aspects of the story must be associated. I'll send my guess through to you privately.
On another note, the following gave me pause:
'capitalism: supply chains and staff sheets, dye numbers and blood diamonds, electricity bills, training regimes, ad campaigns, lunch breaks, harassment policies, debt.'
I thought it would have been interesting if one of the listed elements hinted to his character, his grievance and deeper issues; hinting at what fundamentally disturbs him but we are the reader can only infer.
When I read the passage, I gave debt - the last word on the list - greater emphasis and thought "what if you change the listing, and how does that impact the feel?". As it stands, I gathered it highlights his detachment from the intangible world and his inability to experience emotive or abstract depth in his surroundings. Though, later, I felt the story contradicted that thought as he clearly emphasises with the kangaroo at a deeper level. Definitely something for me to think about.
In the 2nd paragraph: "his right hand still grasped the hatchet". That joke wouldn't really work in film or a play, as the audience would see it there the whole time. I like how in text you can reveal things in unusual orders.
Then in the next paragraph his features come "off-the-bone" which I can't even imagine, haha. It's descriptive - but describing something I can't imagine. And another: "He resembled an important man concerned for the ASX"
This whole story seems determined to do this: to reveal expanding visual jokes that explain earlier scenes. He's now inside a kangeroo!
I also love the balancing act of humor and sincerity. How many stories would have these two sentences in them: "Thoughts of anus hair removal were clouding his judgement" and "we are all one on some level, and the profound tragedy is that our shared beauty is so easily lost beneath our rough hides"
Also, it wouldn't be a Luke Skelton story without a disguised brag of your own wicketkeeping ability - "Joel caught the cartwheeling hatchet with ease"
Would love to comment something worthwhile but the words "Do something!" still ring in my ears, drowning out any insightful thought I might've once had.
This is really good Luke. A true tale of you can’t judge a book by its cover . I felt sorry for him while admiring him .
Another great read. I loved that, almost surprisingly, people did still engage with him - although they clearly didn't understand any of the motives behind his actions. To serve him his ban mi, a simple transaction made terrifying, the woman still went through the motions of her job. The crowd, who tried to stop him from harvesting the organs. And the mother, who still tried to reason with him, despite his scary appearance! Some interesting interactions for someone self professing to be lonely, I liked it a lot! I suppose interaction is written into human nature, we're meant to engage in all different ways...!
I really enjoyed this one. The 'work' reference didn't jump out at me, and my cyncism inferred that the darkest, crueler aspects of the story must be associated. I'll send my guess through to you privately.
On another note, the following gave me pause:
'capitalism: supply chains and staff sheets, dye numbers and blood diamonds, electricity bills, training regimes, ad campaigns, lunch breaks, harassment policies, debt.'
I thought it would have been interesting if one of the listed elements hinted to his character, his grievance and deeper issues; hinting at what fundamentally disturbs him but we are the reader can only infer.
When I read the passage, I gave debt - the last word on the list - greater emphasis and thought "what if you change the listing, and how does that impact the feel?". As it stands, I gathered it highlights his detachment from the intangible world and his inability to experience emotive or abstract depth in his surroundings. Though, later, I felt the story contradicted that thought as he clearly emphasises with the kangaroo at a deeper level. Definitely something for me to think about.
Two great visual jokes early.
In the 2nd paragraph: "his right hand still grasped the hatchet". That joke wouldn't really work in film or a play, as the audience would see it there the whole time. I like how in text you can reveal things in unusual orders.
Then in the next paragraph his features come "off-the-bone" which I can't even imagine, haha. It's descriptive - but describing something I can't imagine. And another: "He resembled an important man concerned for the ASX"
This whole story seems determined to do this: to reveal expanding visual jokes that explain earlier scenes. He's now inside a kangeroo!
I also love the balancing act of humor and sincerity. How many stories would have these two sentences in them: "Thoughts of anus hair removal were clouding his judgement" and "we are all one on some level, and the profound tragedy is that our shared beauty is so easily lost beneath our rough hides"
Also, it wouldn't be a Luke Skelton story without a disguised brag of your own wicketkeeping ability - "Joel caught the cartwheeling hatchet with ease"
These get better and better each time, reminds me of Douglas Adams if he wasn't weak and British