One thing I like about your pieces is the post-analysis you do for each story a few weeks later. It's interesting to compare what my first impressions were VS what the intent/actual-themes. I'm jotting down the things that stuck out to me in this one so I can reference them later:
1. I don't know anything about Too Hot To Handle, besides that it's one of those dating reality shows. This did not detract from the piece for me.
2. Derek reminds me of Winston Churchill. From "I will never surrender" onward, I heard everything in Churchill-voice.
3. I like how the post-apocalyptic/futuristic element is introduced. It wasn't readily apparent through the first half. Outside of one line about an AI announcer, I had an unbroken picture of a modern setting until things fell apart in part 2.
4. Passage of time is done well. There are no lines like "By the spring of 2054..." or "This truce lasted twelve years, until..." - it's a more natural progression forward, centered on the Derek Fish perspective.
One of my faves. I liked the ambition, but that the story starts on something as low states as a Netflix dating show. I liked the tease of 'For the viewers (and voters)'line in an early paragraph - I wondered what you meant by (and voters). It's fun to see our current (or near future) world compared to the distant past or future (‘Hi there. I hope you can see my screen,’) being spoken by an ancient god, haha - he's worried about screen sharing.
One thing I like about your pieces is the post-analysis you do for each story a few weeks later. It's interesting to compare what my first impressions were VS what the intent/actual-themes. I'm jotting down the things that stuck out to me in this one so I can reference them later:
1. I don't know anything about Too Hot To Handle, besides that it's one of those dating reality shows. This did not detract from the piece for me.
2. Derek reminds me of Winston Churchill. From "I will never surrender" onward, I heard everything in Churchill-voice.
3. I like how the post-apocalyptic/futuristic element is introduced. It wasn't readily apparent through the first half. Outside of one line about an AI announcer, I had an unbroken picture of a modern setting until things fell apart in part 2.
4. Passage of time is done well. There are no lines like "By the spring of 2054..." or "This truce lasted twelve years, until..." - it's a more natural progression forward, centered on the Derek Fish perspective.
One of my faves. I liked the ambition, but that the story starts on something as low states as a Netflix dating show. I liked the tease of 'For the viewers (and voters)'line in an early paragraph - I wondered what you meant by (and voters). It's fun to see our current (or near future) world compared to the distant past or future (‘Hi there. I hope you can see my screen,’) being spoken by an ancient god, haha - he's worried about screen sharing.