One thing I like about your pieces is the post-analysis you do for each story a few weeks later. It's interesting to compare what my first impressions were VS what the intent/actual-themes. I'm jotting down the things that stuck out to me in this one so I can reference them later:
1. I don't know anything about Too Hot To Handle, besides that it's one of those dating reality shows. This did not detract from the piece for me.
2. Derek reminds me of Winston Churchill. From "I will never surrender" onward, I heard everything in Churchill-voice.
3. I like how the post-apocalyptic/futuristic element is introduced. It wasn't readily apparent through the first half. Outside of one line about an AI announcer, I had an unbroken picture of a modern setting until things fell apart in part 2.
4. Passage of time is done well. There are no lines like "By the spring of 2054..." or "This truce lasted twelve years, until..." - it's a more natural progression forward, centered on the Derek Fish perspective.
Avoiding Too Hot to Handle as long as you live is probably not the worst idea. It is proper trash televsion. I accidently watched most of Season 5 after catching 2-3 episodes at a friends house. Truthfully, it was the most entertained I'd been in at least a year. I was electrified. I soon developed feelings for one of the contestants. I then later saw myself naked in the mirror and knew happiness would elude me forever. To justify the horror of that entire ordeal, I wrote this tale. 'What if a normal man was on the show?' was my question. How I define normal probably tells you more about my worldview than the story itself!
I'm going to re-read it with a Winston Churchill voice. I love that, haha. In Australia, we have some classic political figures with huge personalities. There's definitely space for Dererk Fish.
On point 3, yes, I'm glad. I won't say why; I'll save that for the post-analysis post. Enough to say that is something I was working on in this piece.
As for point 4, I'm big on removing abstractions like time, money, etc. I picked this up from the guy who wrote Fight Club. Instead of saying an hour passed, express that passage of time through the actions of the story: the sun setting, the film ending...
Genuinely, thanks for this engaging comment. It means a lot that you took the time.
One of my faves. I liked the ambition, but that the story starts on something as low states as a Netflix dating show. I liked the tease of 'For the viewers (and voters)'line in an early paragraph - I wondered what you meant by (and voters). It's fun to see our current (or near future) world compared to the distant past or future (‘Hi there. I hope you can see my screen,’) being spoken by an ancient god, haha - he's worried about screen sharing.
Surreal. Sublime. Succulent.
So it goes.
🇹 🇴 🇴 🇭 🇴 🇹 🇹 🇴 🇭 🇦 🇳 🇩 🇱 🇪
Thanks for reading! And thanks for sharing a quote as a note, that was dope!
Bravo Luke . I enjoyed reading this one . Very colourful imagery
One thing I like about your pieces is the post-analysis you do for each story a few weeks later. It's interesting to compare what my first impressions were VS what the intent/actual-themes. I'm jotting down the things that stuck out to me in this one so I can reference them later:
1. I don't know anything about Too Hot To Handle, besides that it's one of those dating reality shows. This did not detract from the piece for me.
2. Derek reminds me of Winston Churchill. From "I will never surrender" onward, I heard everything in Churchill-voice.
3. I like how the post-apocalyptic/futuristic element is introduced. It wasn't readily apparent through the first half. Outside of one line about an AI announcer, I had an unbroken picture of a modern setting until things fell apart in part 2.
4. Passage of time is done well. There are no lines like "By the spring of 2054..." or "This truce lasted twelve years, until..." - it's a more natural progression forward, centered on the Derek Fish perspective.
What a great comment! Thanks heaps, Sam.
Avoiding Too Hot to Handle as long as you live is probably not the worst idea. It is proper trash televsion. I accidently watched most of Season 5 after catching 2-3 episodes at a friends house. Truthfully, it was the most entertained I'd been in at least a year. I was electrified. I soon developed feelings for one of the contestants. I then later saw myself naked in the mirror and knew happiness would elude me forever. To justify the horror of that entire ordeal, I wrote this tale. 'What if a normal man was on the show?' was my question. How I define normal probably tells you more about my worldview than the story itself!
I'm going to re-read it with a Winston Churchill voice. I love that, haha. In Australia, we have some classic political figures with huge personalities. There's definitely space for Dererk Fish.
On point 3, yes, I'm glad. I won't say why; I'll save that for the post-analysis post. Enough to say that is something I was working on in this piece.
As for point 4, I'm big on removing abstractions like time, money, etc. I picked this up from the guy who wrote Fight Club. Instead of saying an hour passed, express that passage of time through the actions of the story: the sun setting, the film ending...
Genuinely, thanks for this engaging comment. It means a lot that you took the time.
One of my faves. I liked the ambition, but that the story starts on something as low states as a Netflix dating show. I liked the tease of 'For the viewers (and voters)'line in an early paragraph - I wondered what you meant by (and voters). It's fun to see our current (or near future) world compared to the distant past or future (‘Hi there. I hope you can see my screen,’) being spoken by an ancient god, haha - he's worried about screen sharing.